Rick Sanchez vs Dr. Doofenshmirtz

We open on a shot of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated

Jingle: 🎶 Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated 🎶

Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz is in his lab, working on an invention, when suddenly a green portal opens up behind him. Rick Sanchez hops out and looks around. Doof turns to greet the visitor

Doof: Ah, Perry the Platypus, how completely unexpe- wait, you’re not Perry the Platypus.

Rick: Oy. Is THAT what I look like in this dimension? No wonder the Citadel of Ricks never offered you a seat at the table.

Doof: Okay, first, Rude. Second, who are you?

Rick: Just the smartest man in the Central Finite Curve. Now, I’ve been tracking some strange energy signal that came from this dimension, thought I might check it out, maybe take some tech. I don’t know, the night’s still young.

Doof: Um, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I’m expecting some semi-aquatic company and I don’t want any drunk crazies interrupting us.

Rick: I don’t think you get it, pal. I’m Rick Sanchez, and I can do whatever I want!

Rick begins to approach, but Doof presses a button on his remote, causing a class case to fall, trapping Rick

Doof: Aha, trapped! Looks like you’ll be stuck there until you-

Rick pulls out his gun and starts blasting his way out of the case. Doof quickly presses a button on his remote, an Inator rises up out of the floor. Rick fires his gun just as Doof fires his Inator, and the projectiles meet, causing an explosion. Rick uses this opportunity to escape the glass case

Rick: I don’t feel like dealing with this right now.

He pulls out his portal gun and fires it, reaching into the portal and retrieving a Mr. Meeseeks box. Rick presses the button, spawning a Meeseeks.

Mr Meeseeks: I’m Mr Meeseeks! Look at me!

Rick: kill that annoying pharmacist for me.

Mr Meeseeks: Can do!

The Meeseeks begins chasing doof, who runs into his room full of old Inators. He grabs a small, pistol shaped one and points it at Mr Meeseeks. As the Meeseeks gets closer, Doof fires the Inator, and it hits the Meeseeks in the face, causing it to grow a mustache. Doof looks down to the Inator in his hands

Doof: Wow, I really have got to label these.

The mustachioed Meeseeks nears closer to Doof, but then a large robot arm reaches from the darkness and punches the Meeseeks, sending it flying back to the lab. Doof looks to whatever just saved him, revealing Norm.

Doof: Norm! You saved me!

Norm and Doof exit the room, seeing Rick spawning Dozens of Meeseeks. Norm steps forward and enters battle mode

Norm: The enemy of the Meeseeks is Man!

Norm faces down the Army as Doof and Rick quietly slip away

Rick follows after Doof as he retreats into a long hallway. Doof goes to a wall and opens a secret elevator. Rick rounds the corner in time to see the Door close. He tries to use his Cybernetic enhancements to open the door, but there’s a sudden noise. Rick goes to a window to see Doof in a rocket, leaving the atmosphere.

Doof: As they Say in France, Dosvidanya!

Rick: So that’s how it’s gonna be? Fine, I’ll play along.

Rick Creates a portal and steps through it. Doof arrives at his gigantic robot space station, complete with fully functional arms. Doof suits up and prepares for battle. Looking out over the earth, Doof notices a small green portal open up and Rick exits I his flying car.

Rick: A space battle it is.

Rick opens fire on Doof with various weapons from his car, while Doof attempt to swat and smash Rick with the gigantic arms of the station. Eventually, Doof is able to catch Rick off guard, and Claps the ship in between his hands.

Doof: Ha! Got him!

Suddenly, The Robot’s hands are forced open as Rick is now in a suit of power armor. He unsheathes a massive anime sword and continues his assault. After a few more moments, Rick is able to Amputate the Robot’s arms completely, leaving Doof defenseless.

Rick: And goodnight!

As Rick flies forward to break his way into the space station, when he’s hit from below with an energy blast, knocking the sword out of his hand. He looks down to see Norm, covered in the white Meeseeks blood, flying towards him

Norm: don’t worry, father! I’ll protect you with the power of 🎶 Weaponry 🎶

Norm begins battle with Rick, and Rick is quickly overwhelmed by Norms massive arsenal of weaponry.

Rick: This is going nowhere. Siri, triangulate source of power.

Rick scans Norm, finding that he’s powered by a squirrel.

Rick: Squirrels. I should have known.

Rick opens a portal and pulls out a device. He activates the device and the squirrel in Norm is knocked out. Norm powers down and falls to Earth. Rick flies forward, grabs his gigantic anime sword, and impacts the space station, blowing a hole in the hull and causing it to begin plummeting towards Earth. Rick enters the cockpit and throws Doof back, preparing to deliver the killing blow.

Doof: Wow, you seem pretty invincible.

Rick: That’s because I am.

Doof: of course, by invincible, I mean COMPLETELY VINCIBLE!

As Rick goes for the kill with his sword, Doof activates another Inator, zapping Rick. In an instant, his mech suit is turned into a green ball gown, and his sword is turned into a bouquet.

Doof: Ha! Everyone knows you can’t fight in a ball gow-

Rick stretches his mechanical arms out and grabs Doof, landing a massive Punch to his nose.

Doof: Ow, why is it always the nose?

with no other options, Doof shoots himself with the “Go-Home-Inator” and disappears. Rick sighs and pulls out his portal gun

Doof appears back in his lab and looks around. Aside from the wiggling mass of blue and white that remained of the Meeseeks, everything was calm. Suddenly, a portal opened behind him, and Rick, now dressed In his normal clothes, walks out while holding his gun

Rick: Alright you obnoxious German stereotype, I’m done dealing with your Disney Channel Bullshit. I’m ending this here and now.

Doof puts his hands up, trying to think up an escape from this situation, then he sees something. The Magnetic Inator. He presses the button on his remote and uses the magnet to yank the gun out of Rick’s hand

Rick: Are you kidding me?

He pulls out his portal gun, but Doof magnetically pulls it out of Rick’s hand, smashing it onto the floor.

Doof: Ha! Try getting to your gadgets without that!

Rick: I’m done going easy on you!

Rick activates his Cybernetic enhancements, growing extra arms and weapons, he charges at Doof, but the Magnet beam grabs him too.

Rick: What the f*ck? Let me out of this thing!

Doof: I don’t think so.

Doof presses a button on the remote and a voice rings out over the lab

Voice: Warning all Inators self-destructing in 10… 9…8…

As the voice counts down Doof digs through the beeping machines and finds his Chicken-Replace-Inator, he aims it at himself and fires.

a few miles away, a chicken suddenly disappears in a poof and is replaced by Dr Doofenshmirtz. In the distance, Doof watches as his Building erupts in several explosions, before the space station falls from the sky, landing in the rubble.

Doof: maybe blowing up my house wasn’t the best choice.

Doof suddenly gets a call.

Doof: Hello? Oh, Hi Charlene. Listen, I don’t think Vanessa can come visit with me this weekend. Why? Remodeling.

The End